Okay... what now?

Num 13:31-33 But the men who had gone up with him responded, “We can’t go up against the people because they are stronger than we are!” So they gave a negative report to the Israelites about the land they had scouted: “The land we passed through to explore is one that devours its inhabitants, and all the people we saw in it are men of great size. We even saw the Nephilim there—the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim! To ourselves we seemed like grasshoppers, and we must have seemed the same to them.”

                I’m staring at giants, and I’m not so sure this is the way to go.  When the scouts returned to camp they reported that the land was good, but it was inhabited by giants.  The cities were fortified and there was no way they could prevail.  God had obviously led them to the land of Canaan to be slaughtered by its inhabitants.  I’m feeling a bit like a grasshopper myself.

                Have you ever been faced with a problem that seemed insurmountable?  If you’ve ever tried to do anything difficult then your answer would most certainly be “yes”.  Perhaps it was a math test, or trying out for a sports team, maybe even finding the courage to ask out that certain someone.  When faced with the impossible (maybe improbable is a better word) we convince ourselves that it is just that, impossible, and we need not attempt it in the first place.  In some cases we find the courage, or abandon enough sense, to try and hit a wall a few steps in.  We bounce back, stunned and staggering, arms flailing blindly to grasp something solid, something familiar, stable.  Some of us charge on ahead, climbing the wall.  Others scout it out, take inventory, access their options, and still others try to find a way around it, no matter how far out of the way it takes them.  Then there are those who simply sit there waiting for the wall to move, be moved, or crumble.  Some pound their head against the wall trying to knock it down.  And still others give up and try to find a new destination.  Then or course there is me.  I usually do all of the above and more often than I would like to admit I end up ultimately walking away and trying something else.  The question is always how long do I wait until I give up?  How long will I pound my head against the wall?  Will I really exhaust all options, knock on every door?  How far am I willing to go out of the way before I realize there isn’t another way?  When will I have to accept that the wall is there for my own good?

                To be honest, I’ve been knocked down a few too many times lately that I don’t have the energy to climb, go around, or even bang my head.  I feel like just staying down.  I don’t want to look for another direction.  I’m done knocking on doors.  This time I’m surrounded by giants and the cities are too well defended.  I think I’ll just sit here and wait for a miracle.